So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
