called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
