Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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