Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize