Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
