I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
