is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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