remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We are two peas in an std pod
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
50% drunk capacity currently
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
