If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
