Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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