i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
