Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
