bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
