Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
