do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
