I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
