dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
What a dumb baby whore.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
