So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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