Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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