party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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