Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she was so not down for the gang bang
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
And then my night got REAL pukey
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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