he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
