My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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