For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
