Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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