The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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