Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
