I accidentally had phone sex last night
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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