Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
