Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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