I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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