she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
