More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
