my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
