If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
