when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize