hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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