Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
