I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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