Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
