The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
