two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You were trust falling into bushes
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
