Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
