Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
