I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
