DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize