i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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