Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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