Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
