Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
