So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
