Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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