By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
