I should be sponsored by Trojan
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
