just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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