do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
