Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
