When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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